Why?

Here I am again, Feeling so alone and empty. What is it that people want from life?  

Most people want money, cars, and well paid jobs, And yea I won't lie I would like these things to,  

But all I need to get me through, Is to get some love and this is true,

The only problem with my dreams  

Is your smile that beams  

That through my heart it sends a shock  

This gives me worlds of hurt  

Which in turns make me feel like dirt I wish to hold you in my arms

And in my dreams that is a reality But then as dawn breaks and I exit my paradise,  

You turn to dust, poof out of my grasp and another day Where I look at you and have to force myself to turn away

As in my mind I weep tears of knowing you will never be mine again.

*i love you so much but the pain is too much..
it's been almost half a year now. *

Confused

Sometimes life throws things at you that makes you feel like your world may just be awseome,, then other times you feel like just sitting in a corner and bawling your eyes out...you know what i mean? Don't you wish that happiness could just be an ongoing thing?
Why isn't it there is such a thing as a broken heart or backstabbing?
Is it to make us stronger?
Or to make us realize that we are human and that we can hurt?
I don't really get it.
I hate getting hurt but it seems like every time i put myself out there i get hurt..So whats the deal? Cause if i weren't to put myself out there then that would hurt me even more...wouldn't it?
Life is so confusing.
One minute i am completely blissful and the next im breaking down feeling like its the end of the world. Wow that only sounded a little bit bipolar. 

I'm not bipolar. I'm just a very confused girl who is just trying to figure out who she is and why she cant just be happy... thats all.i just want to know..WHY...
does anyone really know or is it one of those big philosophical questions that everyone has to answer for themselves.?

Looking for answers....that are most likely not going to be found yet...