Though it's hard to imagine, someday I'll tell my children the story I'm
writing with my life today.
But that realization does little to save me
from the puzzling maze called now.
" History never looks like history
when you're living through it, It always look confusing and messy, and
it always feel uncomfortable," says John Gardner.
I am now in the middle of messiness and confusion. I still have so many
questions. Will I know when I'm walking trough my story for first
time? Will I have to choose between the person who loves me and the
one I love? What matters when I'm already 50 years old? Will time
stand still for one moment to tell me that this person-this one person,
out of all the billions bustling on the planet-is the one? Will I realize
when it happens? Or might i miss it?
Some questions are probably best left unasked. I know I should put
them aside and wait for life to unfold it's mysteries. Someday when
I'm older and wiser I'll sit back and tell my story to someone who will
listen. I'll probably tell some young fool the same things I get so tired
of hearing from others " You can't rush these things".
Someday when I'll look back on my story it will definitely bring tears
of joy and tears of remorse. It will remind me of God's Goodness. It
will be a story of Selfless Love, Faith and Commitment.
Remember, someone, somewhere will read your story and be it a happy
story or a story with sadness, it may have as much meaning to the
reader, as it has to you.
Many of us lead similar lives, if we can gain experience from each
other, our lives hopefully, should be easier.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Unconditionaol LOVE
If you love someone you'll accept her past and all the mistakes that she
have done... you'll love that person unconditionally... even if she is
the worst person to love... you'll protect her, love her and TRUST
her... you'll accept her for who she is and not... even if she can't
wear those mini skirts and fitting shirts because she's fat, you would
still look at her and see the most beautiful person and you'll believe
that her beauty is skin deep.. you'll hold her hand as if you don't want
to let it go... and you won't ask her to change for someone that she is
not... Love unselfishly.. Love unconditionally... no conditions, no
buts, no ifs... :(
Saturday, February 20, 2010
PJYO
I know we ended up a nice conversation earlier. We exchanged " i love you's "
But I went to bed tonight realizing how much pain this situation has caused "US" ...
Though I also tried to shut my eyes and tried to hide the sad truth of the situation. Spending more time with HIM lately has made me feel unexplainable happiness... I don't know If he felt it but I really tried my best to make the most of our time together... Holding his hand made me feel so strong... Being near him gives me strength to strive more in life. As i get to know him more, I'm loving HIM more... And I'm falling in love with him each and every day, and i can no longer hold back my feelings ..
Honestly, I wanted to enumerate all memorable moments that we had. BayPark, Legion, Bulalo, Carinderias, Kabigting, Halo-Halo, Pampanga, Baclaran Church, Eastwood, 2 1/2 hrs workout, jogging, badminton, mineral water and a lot more... But every time I get to think of those stuffs, it just adds up to the pain I'm feeling right now. Also, I cant count them all... What we had isn't ordinary... First times!
I love HIM ... But loving him isn't enough to save me from the heartaches. It has brought me a lot of happiness and it sure did made me feel complete...
I am a happy fool. :P
But I went to bed tonight realizing how much pain this situation has caused "US" ...
Though I also tried to shut my eyes and tried to hide the sad truth of the situation. Spending more time with HIM lately has made me feel unexplainable happiness... I don't know If he felt it but I really tried my best to make the most of our time together... Holding his hand made me feel so strong... Being near him gives me strength to strive more in life. As i get to know him more, I'm loving HIM more... And I'm falling in love with him each and every day, and i can no longer hold back my feelings ..
Honestly, I wanted to enumerate all memorable moments that we had. BayPark, Legion, Bulalo, Carinderias, Kabigting, Halo-Halo, Pampanga, Baclaran Church, Eastwood, 2 1/2 hrs workout, jogging, badminton, mineral water and a lot more... But every time I get to think of those stuffs, it just adds up to the pain I'm feeling right now. Also, I cant count them all... What we had isn't ordinary... First times!
I love HIM ... But loving him isn't enough to save me from the heartaches. It has brought me a lot of happiness and it sure did made me feel complete...
I am a happy fool. :P
Monday, February 15, 2010
Long Distance Relationships
Nearly everyone has experienced a long distance relationship at some
point in his life. Most of us have failed to maintain it and have broken
up, even though this may have been a promising relationship. Why is
that so?
To begin with, I was there myself. My ex-boyfriend and I both failed to make it lasts. But I still believed that if both person really love each other and their feelings are real, distance would never be the reason to break up.I realized that you must have true interest in each other, I mean a deep emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before or not. Physical attraction is not enough.we tried to use the glorious benefits of modern communication world i just asked for one (at least just one) email everyday but maybe he’s too busy to that. And just typing the word “ILOVEYOU” everyday in his keyboard would eaten up his time.I thought that using all this electronic stuffs will make it easier for the both of us, Imagine how it used to be 100 years ago, when a letter used to take months.but it didn’t!Our one sided communication- I mean with no physical interaction leads us to frustration intensively, that leads us both to misunderstandings that are very difficult to resolve trough phone call, e-mail or ym’s.And it’s really hard to have a fight over the phone.
Long distance relationships have both, advantages and disadvantages. For some, the distance is a good help to slowly open up to the relationship without the incessant presence of the partner. The romance stays kindled because you aren’t around the person 24/7 seeing various habits and routines that can get repetitive.
In terms of disadvantages, it is very frustrating that there is no intimacy, no hugging, no kissing. You will experience difficulties in connecting because you don’t have eye contact and can’t take walks or enjoy dinners out together.Remember, you only get a real connection by touching, feeling and smelling a person. You don’t get scent with email or skype, or that initial wow you feel inside when you see your love.
It’s the quality, not the quantity.
As you can see, I’m definitely positive about long distance relationships. They expose ongoing life lessons, and prove that love, loyalty, and faith are the vital ingredients to a lasting relationship.
Have faith, have trust and you both will succeed in the END. :)
To begin with, I was there myself. My ex-boyfriend and I both failed to make it lasts. But I still believed that if both person really love each other and their feelings are real, distance would never be the reason to break up.I realized that you must have true interest in each other, I mean a deep emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before or not. Physical attraction is not enough.we tried to use the glorious benefits of modern communication world i just asked for one (at least just one) email everyday but maybe he’s too busy to that. And just typing the word “ILOVEYOU” everyday in his keyboard would eaten up his time.I thought that using all this electronic stuffs will make it easier for the both of us, Imagine how it used to be 100 years ago, when a letter used to take months.but it didn’t!Our one sided communication- I mean with no physical interaction leads us to frustration intensively, that leads us both to misunderstandings that are very difficult to resolve trough phone call, e-mail or ym’s.And it’s really hard to have a fight over the phone.
Long distance relationships have both, advantages and disadvantages. For some, the distance is a good help to slowly open up to the relationship without the incessant presence of the partner. The romance stays kindled because you aren’t around the person 24/7 seeing various habits and routines that can get repetitive.
In terms of disadvantages, it is very frustrating that there is no intimacy, no hugging, no kissing. You will experience difficulties in connecting because you don’t have eye contact and can’t take walks or enjoy dinners out together.Remember, you only get a real connection by touching, feeling and smelling a person. You don’t get scent with email or skype, or that initial wow you feel inside when you see your love.
It’s the quality, not the quantity.
As you can see, I’m definitely positive about long distance relationships. They expose ongoing life lessons, and prove that love, loyalty, and faith are the vital ingredients to a lasting relationship.
Have faith, have trust and you both will succeed in the END. :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
GOD's Perfect Time
Today was the turning point. I stopped trusting in my own carefully laid plans and asked GOD to show me His.
I remember those days that I've been miserable, the pains, the tears and the hurt. It was just now when I've realized that GOD was parading HIS plan for my future right in front of my eyes. He had mapped a course for me that was more wonderful than anything I could come up with on my own, and HE was making sure that in the days to come I would never question that this good plan had originated in HIS mind.
It's been a year now.
Things didn't change overnight, but slowly my feelings for him subsided. God used that time to teach me to trust HIM with my heart, to believe that if our relationship wasn't HIS plan, He would help take it away and change my heart. And he did. He took the feelings away.
Perhaps after all my worries and questions, I've discovered that all along GOD had the right thing at the right time for me, for us.
I just couldn't do what felt right; I had to do what was right.
... Moving On...
I remember those days that I've been miserable, the pains, the tears and the hurt. It was just now when I've realized that GOD was parading HIS plan for my future right in front of my eyes. He had mapped a course for me that was more wonderful than anything I could come up with on my own, and HE was making sure that in the days to come I would never question that this good plan had originated in HIS mind.
It's been a year now.
Things didn't change overnight, but slowly my feelings for him subsided. God used that time to teach me to trust HIM with my heart, to believe that if our relationship wasn't HIS plan, He would help take it away and change my heart. And he did. He took the feelings away.
Perhaps after all my worries and questions, I've discovered that all along GOD had the right thing at the right time for me, for us.
I just couldn't do what felt right; I had to do what was right.
... Moving On...
Friday, December 18, 2009
The pain of waiting.
Waiting for someone you love is never easy it may even be irrelevant
especially when the one you’re waiting for isn’t aware that you’re
waiting..
I always wished for the same thing someone to love & who’ll love me back.. but today, i think I'm gonna wish for something else.. the wisdom & maturity to realize that i wont find what i want by looking for it.. that i shouldn't expect someone else to give me what i never give to myself that I'm not half waiting to be made whole & even if that special person never comes along I’ll be just fine..
I always wished for the same thing someone to love & who’ll love me back.. but today, i think I'm gonna wish for something else.. the wisdom & maturity to realize that i wont find what i want by looking for it.. that i shouldn't expect someone else to give me what i never give to myself that I'm not half waiting to be made whole & even if that special person never comes along I’ll be just fine..
Sometimes we could be so stubborn holding on to something we want so badly.. there is nothing wrong in hoping for love but there are times that we simply have to accept that its over.. :(
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The First Step...
It is true that acceptance is the first step to moving on but I have
always believed that we can never forget the person we love. I may have
accepted that he doesn't love me anymore but have I really asked myself
if I feel the same way? I guess I really haven't gotten over my feelings
for him. My love is the chain that keeps me bound to my past and for as
long as that love remains silently burning in my heart; I know I will
never forget the person that feeds that flame.
They say that Acceptance will put one foot forward on the road to recovery. But I believed that the only way to move on completely is to get the other foot out from the love that binds my heart to him. For me, Peace is in knowing that I am breathing the fresh air of the present without being tainted by the stale memories of the past. Every time I cry whenever I remember him adds one glowing ember to the flame in my heart. Every time I become sad when I think of our happy moments together blows more air to that burning fire. And I know that As long as there is that fiery emotion burning inside my heart, I will never be at peace with myself.
For most of us, there will always be a past that will remind us of beautiful memories that we wish would come back to life. But the difference between those who have found real happiness and those who are tirelessly searching for it lies in their ability to stop living in their past and wishing for the things that could have been. Happy people are those who know how to accept the verdict of the past and forgive themselves for being part of it.
When we have loved and failed, we have to grieve for a while and then learn to stop loving that person. Only when we are able to do that can we open our hearts anew and learn to love again without having to be burdened by the guilt and regrets of the past.
They say that Acceptance will put one foot forward on the road to recovery. But I believed that the only way to move on completely is to get the other foot out from the love that binds my heart to him. For me, Peace is in knowing that I am breathing the fresh air of the present without being tainted by the stale memories of the past. Every time I cry whenever I remember him adds one glowing ember to the flame in my heart. Every time I become sad when I think of our happy moments together blows more air to that burning fire. And I know that As long as there is that fiery emotion burning inside my heart, I will never be at peace with myself.
For most of us, there will always be a past that will remind us of beautiful memories that we wish would come back to life. But the difference between those who have found real happiness and those who are tirelessly searching for it lies in their ability to stop living in their past and wishing for the things that could have been. Happy people are those who know how to accept the verdict of the past and forgive themselves for being part of it.
When we have loved and failed, we have to grieve for a while and then learn to stop loving that person. Only when we are able to do that can we open our hearts anew and learn to love again without having to be burdened by the guilt and regrets of the past.
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